1. Don't hand the phone to me and tell me it is my pt with a problem when all they want to do is make an appointment!! If i am not busy I would be more than happy to take care of that for you lazy secretary, however when am I NOT busy?
2. If you put a pt in the room for a procedure, finish that procedure, set up and clean up! I am not again going to be chewed out by uro*doc for your mistakes!!
3. If you do the preceding procedure, effing clean it up, I am not your mommy nor your maid, you get paid the same as I do so stop bitching!!
4. Please do not schedule two cystos at the same time and tell the second one to be here 15 mins early, all that happens is that I get bitched at! 1 Cysto every 30 mins lazy secretary!!
5. DO NOT tell my pts that their urine c&S will be back in 2 hrs, 15 mins, or anything other than 48 hrs. The cultures need time to grow, I will call you with the results....I promise!!
6. If you are a new pt, please do not call me the day before your appt and ask for pain meds! I've never seen you, Uro*doc hasn't seen you and i sure as hell am not going to give you pain meds! Regardless, by law, i can't anyways so please, stop calling!!
7. Please don't leave your mid afternoon snack on my desk so you can go do a procedure, it really is pissing me off!! Finish it or pitch it but if it is there longer than 10 mins im throwing it away! That is my desk, not a buffet line in vegas, back off!!
8. DON'T TOUCH MY CHARTS!! Leave my work on my desk lest ye be bitched at. If you take a chart at least let me know. Don't put it back to be filed when you are done with it, put it back where it belongs!!
9. Please don't make me r/s your CT more than once. I am busy, I am not your mommy and i am not going to call you to remind you. If you "forget" to go to your CT that you have known about for 2 weeks, then it is all yours to r/s. Oh and please stop calling for pain meds, thats the reason the ct was ordered...jerk.
10. Do not call me for the umpteenth time and ask me about your refill on Viagra. I told you once i would ask dr when he had a chance, can't you keep it in your pants for another hour?
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