A note for my drug seeking patients....

Dear Uro*Doc Drug seekers,





Here at Uro Clinic, I, Uro*MA , am the one who gets the phone calls when you try to fraud the pharmacy with your bogus (and might i add awesome lol)RX written in pencil, for 150 vicodin with 4 refills... I am the one who tells the pharmacy that they have permission to destroy the RX and call the cops on your drug seeking ass if need be... *( don'tempt me!! ) *I am the one who will narc on your ass to Uro*dr, dont think i won't....





And while it is rather amusing to recieve these phone calls randomly, it's still pretty lame of you to try to fraud the good dr and the pharmacists...


You see, mr/mrs. drug seeker, I am the only one theses requests go through, I know what has been written and what is bull****, and you my friend are full of it. One, My Uro*DR does not write in pencil and two, he has never dispensed 150 vicodin to any patient...ever!! Nor does he give refills...greedy!!








Please do not call me with any of the following complaints or excuses when you want more meds.... I am going to say no...

However, sometimes its the highlight of my day to hear these...!!






1) If you lost your RX, If you seriously did, i can help.... if its a non narcotic... These are not as big of a deal... but if you didn't lose it, and filled it (narc) at the phamact down the street and then call to say you lost the RX it's ok I will check the pharmacies before i even ask him to write another...



2) Please don't have your mommy call for you if you are over the age of 18 and have resonable mental capacity. Its not going to get you any sort of pain med any faster, unless you are post op or dying... it's really not cute. And yes i can hear you in the background asking for the specific drug and QTY. I have better hearing than you think.... appearantly ;=)



3) My spidey sense tells me that if you have a faint non obstructing stone less than 1 millimeter in size that the Groin pain you now have, (that magically appeared after i tell you about the "stone"), is crap. Its' funny how pain jumps around like that.... and no you can't have any Vicodin!!!



4) A URINARY TRACT INFECTION DOES NOT GET YOU PAIN MEDS UNLESS YOU ARE IN UROSEPSIS!! In which case you would be admitted anyways. Take some pyridium for the burning, i'll even give you some Urelle samples from the office... cranberry juice people....


And finally,


5) If you have a stone, a legitimate stone, and refuse to get surgical treatment only because you know that after you will not be given another rx for pain meds... im calling bullshit!!! The doctor will write you an rx for meds if it will be a few days before your surg or if u really cant afford the surg, and you need a few days to get a payment plan in place but Seriously you need to get that removed, for real, if you dont bad things can and will happen including a loss of kidney if it is that severe, put your drug seeking habits aside and just have the damn surgery... then go to a pain managaement physician or rehab for your addiction...




Sincerly,
Uro*MA